HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE (Part I)

Have you ever felt that you are not being loved enough?

That your unhappiness stems from the fact that nobody loves you?

In that case, I very well understand how you feel. But, when you start loving yourself, it becomes much easier to deal with such thoughts. It doesn’t mean that you have to become a self-absorbed snob in order to feel good, but, loving yourself will help you love yourself and others equally. Now, you must be wondering what does loving yourself have to do with loving others?

Let me explain.

When I love myself, I understand that I am a human with flaws, but I accept the person I am. But, sometimes when I am stressed or angry I might be rude to people and in that situation, I will also accept my fault and try to be a better person. As I love myself, I will see and accept both the good and the bad aspects of me as a person. This will help me to realise that nobody is perfect but each one of us is trying to make sense of our own realities in our own unique ways. So, I won’t bash anyone for acting the ways they do but will try to find ways to deal with the problems in particular. When I love myself I am a happy person because I will choose to be happy thus, helping me understand everyone near me. We often think that making others happy and content is enough. But, what makes more sense is that loving myself will create a healthy me and in return, I can offer my healthy presence to others.

Before I share my ways how to love ourselves more understand that this is a journey and not an overnight miracle. And loving oneself is not just looking into the mirror saying and ‘I am beautiful’ but, it has a much deeper meaning and purpose.

01.  EMBRACE YOURSELF

You are the only person who can understand yourself the best. No one can do it for you. You know what is in your mind deep inside and how to feel or want. Look down deep into yourself to understand yourself more. Note down your strength, weaknesses, passions and work on areas you need to improve. This will help you in understanding your passions and once you start knowing those, you will begin to love yourself even more. Focus on what you have and you will undoubtedly do great. When I say embrace yourself I also mean that I have to be accountable for my actions. Only then can I truly embrace who I am. What I am saying is that if I have behaved with someone rudely then, I must be responsible for the action of mine and not go into denial or into a defensive mode. We can control our actions and I know it requires time and practice but, a small step is what we need. By doing this we will understand ourselves better and as a result, will love ourselves more.

02.  SPEND ALONE TIME

Now, you can understand yourself better only when you spend time alone all by yourself. Sit down somewhere quiet and write down your strengths, passions, hobbies, fears etc. This will help you paint a clear picture about yourself. Saying that “I understand myself” is not enough. Just take out a few minutes. Sit down and write them down. Or, just go for a walk and sit somewhere silent and own that time for just you. When we learn to enjoy our own company is the point where we love ourselves as a person. We have to understand that we always don’t require someone else to be around 24/7. What we need is just us and to listen to ourselves. I always make sure that I have a few minutes or if possible hours to spend some time all by me every day.

03.  DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

If we don’t feel good, we won’t feel like doing anything. It will eventually lead to stress and will make us anxious and later, will deteriorate our overall health. I like doing my elaborate skincare or read stuff related to skincare. Writing and reading about skincare and mental/emotional health is what makes me happy and content. I took a long time to understand that it’s what I love. But, I have been learning and working on skincare since teenage and it makes me feel happy. Find out what makes you happy and do it. When you are happy, you begin to love yourself.  Watching shows and movies on Netflix, cooking food, singing songs, painting, reading...everything counts. The condition is that you just have to be happy while doing it.

04.  OCCASIONALLY REWARD YOURSELF

Treating yourself once in a while is essential. I am not saying that material goods will make you feel better or make yourself love more. But, gifting yourself once in awhile makes you realise that you deserve some pampering and care and that you don’t essentially need to look at others for them. Gifting can be anything like having a spa night at home, or getting that favourite piece of cake, or that beautiful dress or it can as simple as a movie marathon sitting on your bed with some ice cream. I would like to repeat: do not wait for someone to do that for you. Once in a while, take care of yourself and trust me you will feel emotionally elevated. I have a habit of gifting myself quite a lot...a gift from me to me. I keep a list of stuff I want and then, I wait for any occasion or just any day and buy myself whatever I need. For instance, after I was done with my finals last year I gifted myself a wallet to appreciate that I have worked hard for my paper. It actually feels very nice. Get yourself something amusing and gift to yourself by uttering some words of appreciation. Feel and agree to whatever you say. And trust me you will feel so much loved.

05.  WRITE A LETTER TO YOURSELF

Do you ever long for a compliment or an appreciation? Everyone longs for them once in a while. But, you do not have to wait for others’ approval. All you have to do is just sit down and write a letter to yourself. It must include everything you want to hear and feel. Read the letter and realise what a beautiful person you are. Write whatever you want to tell yourself or how you want yourself to feel. Just let your thoughts flow like a river.

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Thanks for stopping by.

Xoxo